Episode 3: Sandy Wesserson has a plan to eliminate menacing road whores.

In this episode, we tackle important topics like, “How much hair is too much hair… on your feet?” and, “Nick’s victorious emergence from his mad beef with a middle-school band nerd dude” [sic], and we discuss our first bands. We play a drinking game where we take a shot every time Nick mentions Neal Peart (Hint: We nearly die. Don’t do this at home; we can’t afford the liability) and discover Rush is nothing more than a pile of skeletons and decaying meaty bits (Limbaugh, not the band Rush; or, at least, not 2/3rds of the band Rush. R.I.P., 1/3rd of the band Rush, whatever your name was). 

Jase discusses his spelling error-free manifesto and confesses his willingness to beat off a guy when he’s blue. Insert something about Mike here. Nick and Jase discover they both spent time playing in Christian bands. Jase said he loves Jesus Christ, but Jesus said that while he likes Jase, he doesn’t like, LIKE like Jase and thinks it’s probably best if they just stay friends. Jase temporarily mutes notifications from Christian Mingle while he processes this rejection. 

Start this paragraph with a sentence about Mike. Add another Mike-related sentence. Finally, we question why man-of-the-world, well-traveled Jase wastes his time with provincial-ass nobodies like Nick and Mike. We bring back the wows bigger and better than ever with “Wow wow. Wow wow wow 2: Judgement Wow” (produced by Michael Bay, of course, because James Cameron had far too many …sexual… requirements to do the film and frankly, none of us knew how to convert US dollars into the strange currency required to satiate his …exotic… appetites).

So, in conclusion, please don’t sue us, James Cameron.